Fruit Punch

I thought to write about our relationship many times...

 I never brought myself to do it and I understand why. I never thought that I would really have to sit back and wonder why or what I did to cause the rift in my relationship. I have so many questions and thoughts about this whole life I seem to have. Lately, I  have been having doubts about the direction I want to take career-wise and how I just been feeling like being ducked off. Now, I find out the person I was dating faked the whole relationship. THE WHOLE RELATIONSHIP! 

At this point, I'm really just tired of feeling like every set back puts me further into a space of depression and recluse. I hate when I really give a fuck about a person and they end up treating that like shit. I really thought that this year would be better than the last, but I'm finding that maybe I need to reevaluate my whole life and space. I started off strong and really was confident in my ability to bounce back, sadly, I feel like it really defeated me. I don't belong in the mix. I need to fall back...

This year/ experience has taught me a few things:

1. Don't ever feel like you can truly let your guard down for people. (The ones you least expect will hit you with the flex.)

2. Growth and optimism are cool as fuck till you knee-deep in the shit. The true test is to find the positivity in the darkness.

3. Sometimes what you want gets snatched to show you where you fucked up at and where you were blind. 

4. Pay attention to how you feel and don't just go with the flow.

5. Get out of your head and get into the higher consciousness. (I saw everything yet, again, I thought I would be able to ignore it away.)