I'm not heartless, I'm guarded.

It's Tuesday, I'm off, scrolling the internet and smoking a blunt.

 Let me tell you that these are the best moments for true self-reflection. So I'm thinking about the past week and how I have been having a shift in view. 

Ironically, I have old blogs and I, truly, have come a long way. Nonetheless, I'm realizing that I was once very aware and mindful of myself at an early age. 

Here I am at 30 rediscovering this...

Rediscovering myself at 30!

 It keeps ringing out at me. I have gone through so many phases in my life that now I'm pulling those pieces together and realizing this is a whole new and complete me, but still from the ashes of a former self. 

I am no longer ashamed of my attitude and my boldness. I am confident in my abilities and I have accomplished things many have not. I have done a hell of a lot with so little. 

Throughout the years I learned patterns and habits about myself but it wasn't until recently that I really put the pieces together. I learned how to study and gauge internally in times of unfamiliar or dangerous situations. I'm learning how to navigate through my life and issues before they get out of control. It's literally an uphill battle, but the progress and growth are worth it.