Revelations of a real one?

Good Evening/Morning, good people!

It has been quite some time since I have graced my own blog, that not many if any of you know about. Major changes and shifts have happened:

•  I've cut all my hair off.
• Had various degrees of love and hate for a nigga.
• Got a job and quit the job.
• Made acquaintances and dropped some. 
• Went through some major changes in thinking and living.

I have decided to go about my life the way I envisioned. There is a stigma on being single black mothers, especially ones going after her dreams in an unconventional way. Leaving my child to embark on something different career-wise is no joke. I have had to work through the feeling of guilt and failure when it comes down to being a mother; making certain moves to ensure us being comfortable later in life. No matter how much help my mother and family can provide, I know that to whom much is given much is required. I have always been required to remain on a path that would make my family proud. At the fresh age of 30, I now realize that I need to blaze my own path and going against the grain comes with a new sense of freedom and fears. Was I as prepared for this in reality as I was in theory?