Life... a poetic recount

It’s a time...

I’m at a party with people I sorta know and a guy I sorta used to fuck with... 

Feeling like I’m in the middle of the moment but not a part of it.  Wondering should I just go home or continue you be a glutton for punishment. (Hmm... should I?) I realize more and more how my time has passed for certain things and that at this point it’s just pleasantries. A constant reminder to get out of your feelings and remain on ice. I don’t know if my methods are healthy or just something to make coping easier. Either way I’m very aware of myself. I’m also very aware of those around me. I’m aware of my awareness but what does that even mean?