What the fuck?!?!?!

Let me start this off by saying there has to be a reason for all of this because I can't imagine all this for nothing. When I first got to Baltimore everything was all good. My health was on point, I had gotten the green light to move down here. So I packed my 2 little bags and I came, sure everything wasn't all the right but after hella setbacks from the summer, I just knew shit was going to go better than it had. Bullshit!

I have cried almost every single day I have been here. I have felt worthless, defeated, forgotten and alone since I have been here. It has nothing to do with my set up or location because everything here was and is as promised. Unfortunately, nothing with me is going the way I expected or planned. My whole life is just at a standstill while I'm watching everyone continue on. I know that things are temporary but I feel like I wanna die some days. I have never felt this low before. I miss my child and that def is not helping my depression. I want to find the solution to my situation but I feel so stuck in a rut of darkness...